Star Wars Countdown
by Sarcastic Chipmunk
Summary: What happens when two odd people get bored while fantasizing about Anakin over MSN? This is our MSN creation, bizarre...so enjoy!


**STAR WARS COUNTDOWN**

by December Wind and Sarcastic Chipmunk while in a strange mood chatting over the net...enjoy... 

*** Sarcastic Chipmunk Once upon a time there was a girl named Padme who...   
December Wind **..... liked OUR hot guy...**   
**** Sarcastic Chipmunk ...named Petey...   
December Wind **so then we went and told her she better get out of town quick.....**   
**** Sarcastic Chipmunk Because Petey was actually the cross-dressing son of...   
December Wind **.....the Emperor!**   
**** Sarcastic Chipmunk And the emperor, who wanted to keep Petey's existence a secret, had sent him to Naboo disguised as a...   
December Wind **...Gungan named Jar Jar**   
**** December Wind **Binks!**   
**** Sarcastic Chipmunk Now he figured everyone would hate Jar Jar because he was annoying...   
December Wind **.....and clumsy but it turned out that little kids every where adored him!**   
**** Sarcastic Chipmunk Including the young Queen Amidala, who didn't realize that there was...   
Sarcastic Chipmunk a cross dressing perv hanging out with her friend Ani.   
December Wind **so slowly she began to like Jar Jar and decided to help his people as an excuse to be around him.**   
**** Sarcastic Chipmunk Even though her maids and the terribly hot Obi Wan were disgusted by him. So Anakin decided that he had to...   
December Wind **take Jar Jar........ out of the picture**   
**** Sarcastic Chipmunk Now, under the guise of becoming a jedi, and saying things like "Mr. Qui Gon, sir," he convinced the world he was innocent...   
December Wind **but really he was just biding his time until the silly jedi taught him enough to make Padme his**   
**** Sarcastic Chipmunk But Petey was quite pissed by this, since he in the meantime had come to love...   
December Wind **Padme and felt that she loved him back**   
**** Sarcastic Chipmunk Which Padme did, until Ani arrived on Naboo a couple years later, looking like...   
Sarcastic Chipmunk EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE   
December Wind **and so she thought, "screw Petey! Ani's way better!".........**   
**** Sarcastic Chipmunk "And much much hotter," she thought, so she told Jar Jar slash Petey to get lost...   
December Wind **"take a hike! Sayonnara! I've found some one better who doesn't get his hand stuck in a vent and make his tounge numb by falling into that beam thingy on Ani's podracer......."**   
**** Sarcastic Chipmunk And Petey went back to the Gungans where they told him to get lost too because they discovered he really was a cross dresser with perverted inclinations...   
December Wind **towards hutts!**   
**** Sarcastic Chipmunk So he went to the Hutts to find himself a mate, only to discover that they wanted to put him in a porn flick...   
Sarcastic Chipmunk STAR WARS STYLE   
December Wind **So they dressed up his mate in oola the dancer's outfit from return of the jedi and let them at it all to an adoring audience.**   
**** Sarcastic Chipmunk So when the Emperor found out that his son was in a movie, he was pleased that he actually had a job and decided to see...   
December Wind **just what that movie was all about!**   
**** Sarcastic Chipmunk So he turned it on, a very good quality holographic video...only to discover his son in compromising positions with a hutt. So, he was pretty mad...   
December Wind **...and that funky lightning got a'cracklin....**   
**** Sarcastic Chipmunk ...and he gave his son a good zap on his still Gungan disguised body...which had the unusual side effect of...   
December Wind **MULTIPLE HEADS!**   
**** December Wind **which each have their own voice box allowing them to talk independently of each other!**   
**** Sarcastic Chipmunk Since each one could sing, he could sing harmony and melody at the same time, and Petey 1, 2, 3, and A (who didn't want to be just another number) decided to start a band...   
December Wind **and to start off they decided to take a trip to Tatooine where they ask the owner of the mos eisely cantina from ep 4 if they could play a few songs**   
**** Sarcastic Chipmunk But on the way, unfortunately, they came across the now senator Padme's ship, with ANAKIN at her side...   
December Wind **..... and in retaliation for hitting on her all those many years ago when she made it clear that she did not appreaciate his advances, he let loose some funky lightning of his own and turned that Gungan wanna be into a crispy critter!....**   
**** Sarcastic Chipmunk And they decided to take him to the Gungan king as a present...   
Sarcastic Chipmunk ...his crispified body, that is...   
December Wind **......and the king was over joyed because you see before Petey had realized his preference for hutts he had been, shall we say, intimate with his only daughter who was now of no use as a bargaining tool in his dealings for a political marriage with the king just down the lake.....**   
**** Sarcastic Chipmunk So both the king and his daughter, Ug Ug, decided Jar Jar slash Petey needed a little drop kicking...that's when his old hutt lover appeared...   
December Wind **......and said if they left Petey alone the king could have his nasty, nasty way with her......**   
**** Sarcastic Chipmunk But the king was disgusted by the suggestion and fired one of his big glowy Gungan ball things at Petey's head...   
December Wind **to which Jar Jar responded, "mesa maka da big boom nowsa".........**   
**** Sarcastic Chipmunk And just as it was about to hit his already crispified head, Amidala and Anakin cheering alongside, his hutt-lover jumped in front of him...   
December Wind **.....causing the both of them to explode! Creating the biggest mess anyone had ever seen...**   
**** Sarcastic Chipmunk So the Gungan King and Padme and Ani decided to leave the room the way it was, as a message to cross dressing hutt pervs in disguise as Gungans...   
December Wind **.......and in thanks to the Gungan King for ridding them of the phantom menace of the two pervs, she built him a new throne room to replace the one that was all gookey.....**   
**** Sarcastic Chipmunk ...and in thanks back, the King invited Padme to stay instead of going back to a life of politics where she'd have to leave Ani eventually...   
December Wind **.......and so she decided to stay but Ani still had certain commitments to the jedi order....**   
**** Sarcastic Chipmunk ...so she went to Obi Wan Kenobi more than a little pissed that her Anakin was ditching her...   
December Wind **.....and told him that if Ani was too chicken to stand up to his old masters and tell them that he wanted to live with her, he wasn't so bad looking...**   
**** Sarcastic Chipmunk ...and Obi Wan nearly fainted...what luck! Padme figured Ani was a little young anyhow, and they stole off to find a room in the Gungan palace...   
December Wind **....where they spent a lovely few hours trying to do it vertically and silently...**   
**** Sarcastic Chipmunk ...When Ani burst in... December Wind ** ...and so, shocked as he was he could only stand there with his ever so cute mouth hanging open** **** Sarcastic Chipmunk ...Padme squealed, and Obi Wan tried to apologize, but after talking with each other calmly, they came to a decision...   
December Wind **.....that she had to make a decision......**   
**** Sarcastic Chipmunk ..."Oh, but I love you both," she squeaked. So they decided they'd have a lightsaber battle for Padme's heart...   
December Wind **......oh it was a long and difficult battle but in the end there could only be one winner.....**   
**** Sarcastic Chipmunk ...and that was Anakin, since he was definitely the better jedi and besides, he had that awful facial hair...   
Sarcastic Chipmunk (Obi wan that is)   
December Wind **....and of course because he was destined to be with her. How else would you get eps 4-6?!.......**   
**** Sarcastic Chipmunk ...exactly. So, they put Obi Wan's body into one of those cryo things Han Solo was in later on, and stuck him on the wall as a piece of unusual decor...   
December Wind **and after many years he was moved to the municipal museum so that every one in the muncipality would know what happens when you sneak off with the cuter jedi's girl......** Sarcastic Chipmunk And Padme made sure that her children with ANAKIN the HOT JEDI came to the museum every month to learn the lesson that...   
December Wind 

**......cheating doesn't pay.........**   
  
  
  
  
  
  


THE END 


End file.
